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Workbook day 10 (PDF content)

Day 10
True Vs. False Intimacy

We are created for intimacy. Our lives, souls and spirits crave it. I John 4:8 simply states the fact that, “God is love.” Nowhere does the Bible say that “Love is God.” Why? The world and our society have twisted what true love is and what true love looks like. The self-gratifying, self-seeking, shallow expression of love that is presented in the media, has corrupted our understanding of the true function of love and intimacy. One of the greatest assaults the devil has launched against you and me is the understanding of what true intimacy is.

True intimacy has nothing to do with sexual acts; it has to do with the blending of hearts and lives. This blending is to be primarily with the Lord, as well as in personal relationships. Intimacy is described by Mike Hatch in this session as “into me, see.”

Q: What does that statement mean to you?
Q: When you look in the mirror, what do you see about yourself?
Q: Do you allow your close friends, or spouse to see into you? Why or why not?

According to Dictionary.com intimacy means:
  • The state of being intimate.
  • A close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.
  • A close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history,
  • An act or expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like.
  • An amorously familiar act; liberty
“Sex can be the most beautiful expression of love, but we are lying to ourselves if we act as if sex is the proof of love.” – Edwin Raphael McMannis (McMannis, 17)
Too many men demand sex as proof of love, and too many women are giving sex in hopes of love.

Q: What does this mean to you?

Real intimacy begins with you, and knowing yourself.

Q: What are your dreams, goals, and desires in life?

Our choices are full of risks, our desire to trust is full of risk, and our allowing others “into our life” will be full of risk. Is your freedom from the struggles of the past worth the risk?

False Intimcay

False intimacy is the misuse of the sexual desire given to us by God. False intimacy is trying to create intimacy in ways God did not intend. It is a fact that our society is in moral recession. We have digressed from morality without any thought or concern of the effect that this decay will have on our lives and the lives of our children.

Society glorifies sex, and gives the false impression that a man’s worth is in how many women he has slept with, or how much sex he can have with as many different women without consequence. Real men are committed and connected to a healthy moral compass and to their spouse. Have you tried to meet your needs in inappropriate ways?

Q: How do you determine the difference between what you want or desire, and what you need?

Mankind was created for intimacy. Our first and greatest source of that intimacy comes from our relationship with God. Read Mark 12:28-31. When we have intimacy with God, the love God has for us becomes the foundation of our value and expression towards our family, friends, and neighbors.

Q: How much does God love you?
Q: How much do you love God?
Q: Has God’s Word and presence in your life impacted your own self-worth and value?
Q: How will intimacy with God affect all of your relationships?